Understanding the challenge: research tells a compelling story: nearly half of men (44.8%) leave therapy prematurely, with the majority citing a lack of connection with their therapist as the primary reason. What’s heartbreaking is that up to 60% of men who die by suicide had reached out for professional help the year before. Globally, on average, one man dies by suicide every minute of every day and within Australia, three out of four suicides are men.

If you’ve tried therapy before and felt:

• Unsure if it was making a difference.
• Uncomfortable with the process.
• Disconnected from your therapist.
• That it somehow made you feel “less of a man”, “feeling weak”.
• Finding the value and paying for such a services uncomfortable.

You’re not alone. These experiences are common and reflect systemic issues in how mental health services engage with men—not personal failings on your part.

Building a different kind of therapeutic relationship

Therapeutic relationships take time to develop, its important to maintain connection, and a strength of the process,  but that doesn’t mean you should continue with a therapist who doesn’t feel right. If you’re considering ending therapy, I encourage you to share those thoughts directly. This conversation isn’t a failure—it’s an opportunity to reshape your experience into something that genuinely helps you. If not there are many therapists including myself you can reach out to.

What You Can Expect in Our Work Together:

• Honest discussions about fit: Research shows 54.9% of men leave therapy due to connection issues with their therapist. I prioritise checking in regularly about how our work together feels for you.
• Clear progress tracking: About 20% of men leave therapy because it “didn’t feel right” or wasn’t making progress. I’ll establish ways to measure therapy for you, and if a rupture occurs I’ll want to try to understand this, and how to repair this with you.
• Respectful engagement: Men who feel “emasculated” by therapy are more likely to drop out. I’m committed to approaching your strengths and challenges in ways that honour your experience and identity… I am not going to emasculate you or any man for that matter.
• Practical approaches: Many men want solutions, not just endless talking. Our work will balance understanding with actionable strategies, but again it takes time and talking is part of the therapeutic process. And its ok if your not a talker, this is the place to learn how to safely.
• Managing expectations: As a therapist, I have boundaries and ethics to abide by. I also won’t minimise harmful behaviours, I will always show up in a therapeutic capacity if your being hurtful to someone, I’ll call it out. But at the same time, I’ll want to know where its coming from.

Taking the next step

Good therapy is a partnership. Remember that opening up takes time, and meaningful change happens gradually. While we might gently explore traditional masculine norms around relationships, boundaries, and emotional expression, this exploration will always be done with respect for your experience and values.

“Men are often pressured to open-up and talk about their feelings and criticised for being emotionally walled-off; but if they get too real, the are met with revulsion.” Brene Brown

This is always an invitation, not a demand

Your path to wellness deserves proper support. If you’re ready to try therapy that respects your experience while helping you move forward, I’m here to listen and work alongside you at your pace.

Men often experience surprise or even disillusionment when starting therapy. Many find it unnatural to allocate financial resources toward personal wellbeing, preferring to push through difficulties alone instead.

Think of therapy as an investment in yourself. Just as you might commit to physical fitness (where many men willingly spend on gym memberships and equipment), therapy requires consistency and commitment to yield meaningful results.

Consistency is key. Regular sessions build mental and emotional stamina, fostering growth in both the short and long term. The benefits compound over time, much like physical training.

If traditional talk therapy doesn’t feel right for you, alternatives exist. In my practice, for example, walking and talking therapy offers a different approach that some find more comfortable and effective if thats something you feel you need.

It’s important to understand that therapy isn’t a quick fix—don’t expect to be “repaired” after just one or two sessions. The process takes time as you navigate through various complex issues and underlying challenges.

Healing and building resilience is a journey that requires patience as you explore different aspects of yourself and your experiences. Give yourself the time and space needed to work through everything properly. If you still feel sceptical, check out these videos from Movember: Think You Know Therapy? Think Again. Or this quick vid here.

If you who have experienced sexual abuse or violence, you deserve support and understanding. Seth Shelley’s powerful TED Talk addresses the importance of men speaking openly about these experiences. His presentation offers valuable insights and resources for survivors. If you’ve been affected by these issues, consider watching his talk here: link to video.

Taking the step to seek support shows incredible courage. Counselling and psychotherapy aren’t just services—they’re investments in your wellbeing and future. Making that first appointment might be the bravest decision you’ll make all year. I’m looking forward to our first session together. If you have questions or concerns, feel free to write them down so we can address them when we meet. Your journey toward healing and growth begins with this single step, and only you can make this decision.