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Cant Get Hard: Erectile Dysfunction – Let’s Talk About It

Authored by Kai @ Polysoma

When it comes to issues with the penis 🍆 not working or not getting hard, I prefer to avoid clinical terms like “erectile dysfunction.” As a somatic psychosexual therapist, I find such labels can lead to oversimplified solutions from various industries and health professions, potentially overlooking the complex nature of these issues. It’s important to remember that a penis not getting hard doesn’t define your worth or functionality as a person. In this discussion, I’ll use phrases like “penis not working” or “penis not getting hard” to describe these experiences more accurately and compassionately. Many men experience embarrassment or hesitation when seeking help for penis concerns. If you’re experiencing difficulties getting a hard on and feel uncomfortable discussing it, you’re not alone. This information may be helpful for you.

According to the Royal Australian College of GP’s, around 40% of Australian men will experience a penis not getting hard at some point in there lives. Instances of the penis not working are rarely straightforward. They often involve emotional and psychological factors making quick fixes ineffective for example erection drugs like Viagra.

Many factors can contribute to ones erections concerns, these might include:

      • Overall physical and mental health, including cardiovascular health, diabetes and obesity.*
      • Stress, performance anxiety and depression.
      • Certain medications, including antidepressants, beta blockers.
      • Alcohol use and smoking.
      • Surgical procedures, like removal of the prostate and damage to the penile nerves.
      • Lifestyle factors and nutrition.
      • Penile compression trauma, saddle injury from cycling.
      • Low testosterone.
      • A lack of sexual desire, loss of libido.
      • Sexual abuse, sexual assault and complex trauma.
      • Your penis and body has been shamed.
      • Penile and body dysmorphia.
      • Ageing body and penis.

I take a biopsychosocial approach to addressing these concerns. This means I consider the biological, psychological, and social factors that might be influencing your body and penis. The biopsychosocial model recognises that health and wellbeing are affected by the complex interplay of:

      • Biological factors: Physical and penile health, physiological processes, hormones.
      • Psychological factors: Thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.
      • Social factors: Relationships, cultural influences, and societal expectations.

By examining all these aspects, we can develop a more comprehensive understanding of why your penis might not be working as expected and create a holistic plan to address these issues. The penis and the body are complex physiologically and anatomically. Pills and erection devices might be useful, and if they’re not working for you sometimes we need to dig a little deeper.

It’s crucial to understand that having a constantly firm penis isn’t necessary or realistic. Our bodies, including our genitals, respond to various life circumstances. Masculinity isn’t defined by penis hardness, and it’s healthy to challenge such limiting beliefs. It’s normal for our penises to go through changes throughout our lives.

“I frequently tell my clients that physical discomfort or issues with their penis can sometimes be an indicator of broader health concerns or life stressors. Their penis is speaking to them”.

Let me emphasise: a soft penis is okay. You can do so much with a softy. We’re conditioned to think soft is bad, but this perspective stems from masculine cultural and sexual stereotypes. Softness has historically been associated with femininity. However, this association can be stereotypical and limiting. Such stereotypes can be harmful to our wellbeing, relationships, and newer generations of penis owners who receive these messages.

If you’re experiencing persistent issues with your penis not working or not getting hard, seeking professional help can be beneficial. As a knowledgeable somatic sexologist using a biopsychosocial approach in the penis department, I can offer insights, suggest appropriate referrals if needed to check your hormones, and provide various modalities to help you work through penis concerns. Depending on your individual situation, some modalities might include, working through anxiety and tension in your body, pelvic floor exercises, education around penis anatomy, exploring your sexual scripts, desires and relationships, communicating with your sexual partner, exploring alternative sexual pleasures. Plus much more.

Remember, your worth isn’t determined by whether your penis is working or getting hard. There are many ways to experience intimacy and pleasure, and working with a compassionate professional like myself can help you explore these options while addressing any underlying concerns.

So what are you waiting for? Sign up as a new client today and feel different about your 🍆.