Why Gender Shouldn’t Matter When Choosing a Psychotherapist or Counsellor
A Unique Insight, Professional Reflection
Recently, a cherished colleague kindly opened up to me about the unique challenges and encounters that I faced as a cis-gendered male in the counselling and sexual wellness space. After all, why would a cisgender female or gender-fluid person come and talk to me about their vulva/vagina? Or why would a cisgender male who’s experienced sexual abuse by another cisgender male want to open up to me? So, I wanted to reflect on this and share my thoughts with you.
In a world that’s becoming increasingly aware of the nuances of gender and identity, it’s essential to recognise that specific roles and professions are traditionally associated and culturally constructed with particular gender identity. Socially, we associate the culture of femininity with empathy, nurturing, and compassion which is coded in helping professional roles. Whereas masculine roles have been strong, powerful, protective, and rescuing. But this is a binary way of thinking. It suggests that genders only provide you specific abilities (one or the other), and that’s certainly not true.
The Psychology, Psychotherapy and Counselling professional field is really no exception to gender stereotypes where we associate femininity with caring roles. At one point, these professions were dominated by cis-males. Today, the Australian psychological workforce comprises 78.9% of females, counselling professionals 77%, and social workers 84% of females. Other caring professions such as nursing (89%), childcare workers (92%) and teaching (71.9%) are all reflections of gender stereotypes. I’ll also point out the opposite, where this occurs: females represent only 42.6% of medical practitioners in Australia. And let’s remember that Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) are professions where men still outnumber women. There isn’t a balance.
There are many reasons for all of this, but I do not intend to explore them here. I want to highlight the inequality across the binary divide of culturally shaped stereotypes in helping practitioners. Gender neutrality, balance, and equality should be the ultimate goal for every profession, and we are far from achieving this across the professional spectrum.
However, when it comes to seeking help for your mind and body, the gender of your practitioner shouldn’t be a determining factor. Here’s why.
Professional Expertise Trumps Gender <– and not Donald Trump.
The primary concern when seeking psychotherapy should be finding a qualified, experienced, and skilled professional in addressing your specific needs. The effectiveness of therapy lies in the therapist’s ability to understand and empathise with your struggles, not their gender. A therapist’s competence and expertise in their field is far more important than their gender.
Empathy Knows No Gender
Effective therapy relies heavily on the therapeutic relationship between the client and the therapist. This relationship is built on trust, empathy, and understanding. Empathy is a fundamental human trait that transcends gender boundaries. A skilled therapist, regardless of their gender, can empathise with your experiences and provide the support you need.
Diverse Perspectives
Gender diversity among therapists can offer a range of perspectives and approaches to therapy. A therapist of a different gender than yours may bring fresh insights and alternative viewpoints to your sessions, enriching the therapeutic process. Diversity in the therapeutic relationship can foster growth and learning for the client and the therapist.
Reflection as a Tool
Reflection is such a great tool and is widely used in counselling. Reflecting on why you feel drawn to a therapist of a particular gender can be valuable in self-awareness and exploration. Before you decide, it might be helpful to pause and reflect on why you’re seeking a helping practitioner of a specific gender. It could be related to feeling understood or supported uniquely; maybe you have trauma from a person of a particular gender, or perhaps you perceive specific gender-related experiences as relevant to your therapeutic journey. Again, that’s ok.
Focus on the person
Every person is unique, with their own experiences, challenges, and preferences. What works for one person may not work for another, regardless of gender. Therapy should focus on tailoring treatment to the individual needs of the client rather than adhering to stereotypes or assumptions based on gender.
Respect for Autonomy
It’s essential to respect the autonomy of individuals in their choice of therapist. Everyone has the right to seek therapy with a professional who makes them feel comfortable and understood. Sometimes, there’s validation around shared gendered experiences and what it feels like to be a particular gender. This is why, for some folk, the gender of their therapist may be a relevant factor in their decision-making process, and that choice should be respected. However, it’s essential to recognise that gender should not be the sole determinant of therapeutic compatibility when reaching out for help.
So what does this all mean in the end?
While gender may play a role in the initial considerations of selecting a counsellor, it should not overshadow the more critical factors of expertise, empathy, and individual fit. Therapy is about finding a supportive and understanding ally on your journey toward healing, growth, and recovery, regardless of gender. By prioritising these aspects, we can foster a more inclusive and practical approach to mental health care. But of course, if a particular gender is what you feel you need when it comes to seeking help, this is ultimately the decision for you, something that you can quickly reflect on and find meaning from.
Peace out.
