This blog addresses recent news about delays and backlogs in the National Redress Scheme and is written for survivors of institutional child sexual abuse, and for anyone whose sexual abuse as a child or young person is still affecting their body, intimacy, and nervous system.

There’s been a lot of talk lately about the National Redress Scheme and the growing backlog of applications from people who were sexually abused as children in institutions (ABC News, 2026). For many survivors, those headlines do not just feel like news. They land in the body, stirring old sensations, memories, self-doubt, and the familiar ache of being unseen or delayed again (ABC News, 2026; National Office for Child Safety, 2025).

If part of you is reading those stories and feeling something stir — a heaviness, a knot in the chest, a sense of “that was me” — I want to say this gently and clearly: what happened to you should never have happened. It was not your fault. And whatever ways you have found to survive, protect yourself, shut down, keep life moving, or try to make sense of your experience, those responses deserve care rather than judgement (Quadara & Hunter, 2016; No to Violence, 2020). Sometimes the part of you that keeps life moving looks very capable from the outside, while other parts may still feel frightened, confused, or unsure how to hold what happened (van der Hart et al., 2005). You are not too late. You are not too much. And you do not have to be falling apart to be worthy of support (Quadara & Hunter, 2016).

Although this article is written with survivors of institutional child sexual abuse in mind, many of the effects described here can also resonate for people who have experienced sexual abuse in other contexts. The body does not always organise itself around legal categories or administrative pathways. Trauma can leave similar traces in intimacy, sexuality, attachment, and the nervous system whether the abuse happened in an institution, a family, a relationship, or another setting. If parts of this piece feel familiar, you are welcome here too (Lorenz et al., 2021; Quadara & Hunter, 2016).

Living with Sexual Abuse in Childhood or Adolescence Inside an Adult Body

Many people carry the effects of sexual abuse in childhood or adolescence in ways that are hard to name (Quadara & Hunter, 2016; Theimer et al., 2021). On the outside, life may look functional — work, relationships, humour, responsibility — while underneath there can be a constant hum of tension, shame, numbness, or disconnection (No to Violence, 2020; Theimer et al., 2021).

You might recognise some of these experiences:

• Feeling as though your body is not really yours, or only noticing it when it hurts, shuts down, or becomes overwhelmed (Bicanic et al., 2021; Lorenz et al., 2021).
• A push–pull around intimacy: wanting closeness and pleasure, while also feeling fear, disgust, numbness, or the urge to disappear (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023; Lorenz et al., 2021).
• Parts of you that feel much younger than your age when something sensory or relational brings the past close (Quadara & Hunter, 2016).
• Foggy memories, lost time, or a sense that some parts of childhood are missing (Bird et al., 2014; Theimer et al., 2021).
• Difficulty trusting people, or moving between clinging and pulling away (Katz & Tirone, 2025; Quadara & Hunter, 2016).
• A deep old shame that says, “It was my fault,” or “I should be over this by now” (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023; No to Violence, 2020).

From a trauma-informed perspective, these are not signs that you are defective. They are adaptations — ways the nervous system and psyche learned to survive in unsafe conditions (Quadara & Hunter, 2016; UK Government, 2018).

Sexual abuse in childhood and adolescence does not only affect the body. It can also shape attachment — the ways you reach for closeness, protect yourself from it, and try to manage the risk of needing another person (Katz & Tirone, 2025; Maniglio, 2021). A recent meta-analysis found that childhood sexual abuse is significantly associated with insecure adult attachment, including both attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance (Katz & Tirone, 2025). In lived terms, that can look like longing for intimacy but distrusting it, becoming highly sensitive to rejection, fearing abandonment, shutting down when someone gets close, or moving between intense closeness and sudden withdrawal in ways that feel confusing even to you (Gewirtz-Meydan & Lahav, 2020; Katz & Tirone, 2025). These are not character flaws. They are often understandable relational survival strategies formed in the aftermath of abuse, especially when care, power, touch and safety became painfully entangled early in life (Katz & Tirone, 2025).

Sometimes people come to therapy feeling confused because so much of their life looks functional from the outside. They are working, caring for others, getting through the week, perhaps even doing very well. And yet in sex, intimacy, or moments of vulnerability, something shifts (van der Hart et al., 2005). A younger part, a frightened part, a shut-down part, or a deeply ashamed part can suddenly come much closer. Parts-based trauma models recognise that this is not inconsistency or failure. It is often the result of different parts of the self carrying different burdens, with one part focused on getting on with life while another holds the pain, fear, body memory, or unmet needs that had nowhere else to go (van der Hart et al., 2005).

When Sexual Experiences are Shaped by Trauma

Because sexual abuse in childhood and adolescence happens in and through the body, it often leaves traces in the way sex, touch, arousal and desire feel many years later (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023; Lorenz et al., 2021). Sometimes those traces are not visible at all, but are carried as deep internal scars — in body memories, shame, fear, numbness, or a sense that parts of the body no longer feel entirely safe or fully your own (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023; Lorenz et al., 2021). For some people, there may also be actual scars on the body, and these too can hold meaning, memory, or pain (Lorenz et al., 2021). And sometimes the nervous system keeps behaving as though danger is still close by — on edge, watchful, braced for the next alarm, even when you are trying to get on with life (No to Violence, 2020; SAMHSA, 2014). You might notice:

• Going into sex almost automatically and feeling emotionally disconnected, as though part of you is absent even when your body is present (Bird et al., 2014).
• Dissociating or “spacing out” during sex or intimate touch, as if you are watching from a distance or leaving your body (Bird et al., 2014; Haines, 1996).
• Going numb or feeling very little in situations where you expected pleasure (Lorenz et al., 2021).
• Anorgasmia — finding it difficult or impossible to reach orgasm, even when you or a partner are trying (Haines, 1996).
• Painful sex, pelvic pain, or genital pain that makes intimacy feel frightening, impossible, or loaded with dread (Lorenz et al., 2021).
• Erectile difficulties or ejaculating sooner than you want, especially when sex carries anxiety, vigilance, shame or disconnection (Gewirtz-Meydan et al., 2022; Pulverman & Meston, 2020).
• Sexual behaviours that feel hard to control, including seeking intensity or risk when something inside feels numb or far away (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023).
• Turning away from sex altogether, or feeling as though your sexuality has gone missing or shut down (Lorenz et al., 2021).
• Difficulty making sense of your sexuality, desire, or identity in the aftermath of abuse (Theimer et al., 2021).
• Feeling as though you have to perform a particular kind of sex to be acceptable, even when it does not feel right inside (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023).

Trauma can also shape boundaries, consent and the ability to voice what you need in a sexual relationship. Some survivors find it hard to say no, hard to ask for what they want, or hard even to notice what they want until much later (Livingston et al., 2007; Wang et al., 2023). You might go along with sex because stopping feels too uncomfortable, because another person’s needs feel more urgent than your own, or because a familiar survival response takes over and you freeze, accommodate, or leave yourself emotionally (Livingston et al., 2007; Wang et al., 2023). Sometimes this happens inside caring relationships, and a partner may not realise that you are going along with something your body, emotions or more vulnerable parts are not truly consenting to in a full and settled way (Gewirtz-Meydan, 2025). Difficulties with expressing sexuality, refusing unwanted sexual activity, and communicating needs can be part of the long tail of trauma rather than a sign that something is wrong with your character (Livingston et al., 2007; Wang et al., 2023).

There is also literature suggesting that trauma can shape genital-specific responses in ways that feel confusing or shame-laden. Some survivors notice that their genitals respond — through lubrication, erection, or even orgasm — while emotionally they feel distressed, disconnected, or entirely unwilling. Research on arousal non-concordance is clear that genital response does not equal desire or consent (Bird et al., 2014; PsychPD, 2023). For others, the body moves toward intensity: rough sex, painful sexual practices, compulsive sexual behaviour, or even harming one’s own genitals as a way to feel something through numbness, discharge unbearable affect, or reenact old patterns in a setting that seems more controllable (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023).

Research with men who have experienced sexual abuse in childhood or adolescence suggests higher rates of sexual difficulties, including erection problems and broader disruptions to arousal, desire and sexual functioning (Gewirtz-Meydan et al., 2022; Pulverman & Meston, 2020). That does not mean trauma is always the cause of erectile dysfunction or ejaculating sooner than you want — physical health, medication effects, hormones, stress and relationship dynamics can also play a part (Pulverman & Meston, 2020; Wang et al., 2023). But trauma can place the body under chronic vigilance and emotional strain, making it much harder to stay present, relaxed and connected during sex (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023; Lorenz et al., 2021).

From a trauma-informed sex therapy perspective, these are not moral failings or simple dysfunctions to “fix”. They are ways the body and nervous system have tried to cope with overwhelming experience — sometimes by numbing, sometimes by disconnecting, and sometimes by seeking intensity (Gewirtz-Meydan & Godbout, 2023; Quadara & Hunter, 2016). Therapy can create space to become curious about what these responses have been protecting you from, and to slowly move towards touch, pleasure, and sexuality that feel safer and more your own (Bicanic et al., 2021; Lorenz et al., 2021).

Redress, Recognition and Pressure

The National Redress Scheme was created in response to the Royal Commission to provide payments, counselling, and formal acknowledgement to people sexually abused as children in institutions (ABC News, 2026; Quadara & Hunter, 2016). For some survivors, engaging with redress feels important and validating. For others, the idea of putting their story into forms, timelines, and official processes feels exhausting, re-traumatising, or simply not right for them (ABC News, 2026). The scheme is not perfect, and for many people it can bring up much more than memory alone. Seeking formal recognition can become an emotional roller coaster — carrying hope, fear, grief, anger, and the deep wish to have what happened fully seen (ABC News, 2019, 2026). And even when recognition does come, it may not feel the same as justice. Sometimes there is relief in being acknowledged, while at the same time knowing that no administrative process can fully account for the harm or return what was taken (ABC News, 2019; National Redress Scheme, n.d.; National Indigenous Australians Agency, n.d.).

You might be:

• Already in the scheme and waiting on an outcome or part of the current backlog (ABC News, 2026).
• Thinking about whether to apply before the closing date (ABC News, 2026; National Redress Scheme, n.d.-a).
• Supporting a loved one who is going through the process (National Office for Child Safety, 2025).
• Deciding very consciously not to apply, and needing support around that decision (National Redress Scheme, n.d.-a).

Whatever your position, the administrative process is only one part of the picture. Your body, sexuality, relationships, and sense of self matter too, and therapy can be a space that is not about paperwork but about you (Bicanic et al., 2021; Lorenz et al., 2021).

If you have received redress, it may also feel meaningful to use some of that support in ways that care for you now (National Redress Scheme, n.d.-b). For some people, that includes counselling or sex therapy, whether with me or with another practitioner they trust (National Redress Scheme, 2026). There is no right way to use support after abuse, and no expectation that therapy must be part of that picture (National Redress Scheme, 2026). But if having a dedicated space to make sense of the impacts feels important, that option is there for you (National Redress Scheme, n.d.-b).

How Therapy Can Help

In my practice, I work at the intersection of sex therapy, trauma counselling, and the care of vulnerable parts — the quieter places in you that may not have had much room, safety, or language. When you work with me, there is space to bring the impacts of sexual abuse as they are living now — in your body, your intimate relationships, your sexuality, and the parts of you still trying to make sense of what happened. This can include abuse that happened in institutions, families, or communities (Quadara & Hunter, 2016; Theimer et al., 2021).

In practice, that often means:

• Moving at your pace, without any requirement to provide detailed disclosure before you are ready (Quadara & Hunter, 2016; UK Government, 2018).
• Staying with present-day impacts first — sleep, emotional regulation, dissociation, intimacy, pain, shame, desire, relationships — rather than forcing a retelling of the past (Bicanic et al., 2021; No to Violence, 2020).
• Working with sexuality in a careful, trauma-informed way, including dissociation during sex, attachment parts of you, anorgasmia, painful sex, sexual behaviours that feel hard to control, fear of touch, erectile difficulties, ejaculating sooner than you want, or difficulty feeling present in intimacy (Gewirtz-Meydan et al., 2022; Haines, 1996).
• Holding your cultural background, spirituality, gender, neurodivergence, sexual orientation, and relationship style as part of the work rather than treating them as side notes (National Office for Child Safety, 2025).

Some people come for a focused piece of work around a specific issue, such as support while preparing an impact statement, coping with a Redress outcome, or understanding how past abuse is affecting sex with a current partner (ABC News, 2026). Others want longer-term psychotherapy, where safety and resources are built first and deeper healing follows in time (Bicanic et al., 2021; Ullman et al., 2022).

Your Welcome Here

If you are in Adelaide, elsewhere in Australia, or overseas, and something in this piece has resonated, you are welcome to start working with me and book a session. The session can then become a space to explore what feels most important right now, including any impact on your body, sexuality, intimacy, attachment, or sense of self (Gewirtz-Meydan & Lahav, 2020; Lorenz et al., 2021). You do not need to arrive with the perfect words, a complete memory, or a fully formed plan (Quadara & Hunter, 2016). Your life matters, your body is not to blame, and it is entirely valid to seek support for what happened to you, even many years later (No to Violence, 2020; Quadara & Hunter, 2016).

References

ABC News. (2019, March 7). Sexual abuse survivors reveal ‘traumatic’ pain of applying for redress. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-03-08/sexual-abuse-survivors-reveal-pain-of-applying-for-redress/10878798

ABC News. (2026, July 1). Redress scheme will not clear backlog before closure at current processing rate. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-07-02/redress-scheme-sexual-abuse-survivor-backlog-extension/106864394

Bicanic, I. A. E., de Jongh, A., ten Broeke, E., & Jonkman, C. S. (2021). A trauma-informed guide to caring for adolescents following sexual assault. Current Opinion in Pediatrics, 33(4), 428–433. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34039900/

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